The teenage years are marked by physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. And these changes make teenagers more prone to behavioral issues such as stubbornness. So, in this post, we tell you how to deal with a stubborn teenager. If your child is stubborn, shouting or lashing back at them is not the answer. Instead, you should exercise your assertiveness in a strong yet calm manner and teach them about being respectful towards the family. Reacting to their stubbornness by losing your temper will only make things worse. Read on to know more about ways to deal with stubborn teenagers.
How To Deal With Stubborn Teenagers
Here are a few effective and practical suggestions that can help you know how to deal with a stubborn teenager:
1. Your Teen Is An Individual Too, Not Just A Teen:
One of the biggest misconceptions about the teenage years is that every teen behaves a certain way.
While you may feel that is correct, it is not fair to generalize your teen with everyone else.
One of the first steps you need to take to reach out through your teen’s stubborn streak is to understand him as an individual.
Tip: Let your teen see that you respect his individuality and that you know there is no single way to handle situations.
2. Understand Your Teen:
You may think that you know your teen, but how well do you actually know him?
As a parent, you may know about things like what your teen likes to eat or who your teen’s best friend is. But these are all questions that most parents may know of their teens, as a by-product of living together.
To actually understand your teen, ask yourself questions that will tell you how well you actually know your teen’s real life and his world.
Tip: Try and understand more important aspects of your teen’s life like what embarrasses him, what does he do when he is sad or lonely, who does he turn to for sharing his worries, what scares him or what fears he has and so on.
3. Know Your Battles And Don’t Stress On Every Topic:
With a teenager in the house, there are bound to be many fights and disagreements that can almost be a daily affair.
If you indulge in every disagreement and fight with your teen, it will only create an atmosphere of hostility. It will also make your teen act more stubborn towards you.
Understand what topics are more important and need to be taken up with your teen, even if you know it will be a disagreement.
Tip: Make sure you don’t show displeasure with anything and everything that your teen does. Pick your topics depending on the necessity and importance. For instance, do not admonish your teen for all clothes choices. Instead, make yourself heard if you feel it is too revealing or inappropriate.
4. Think From Your Teen’s Point Of View Too:
To understand why your teen may be acting stubborn, you need to first understand what your teen is thinking.
Try to understand what it is that makes your teen feel truly motivated or interested.
Once you understand your teen’s way of thinking, you will be in a better position to deal with any arguments or disagreements.
Tip: Offer your teen choices that will make decisions easy. ‘You can take out the trash tonight or help with the dishes’ is a good way to let your teen make a choice.
5. Encourage Good Behavior:
Your teen may be stubborn, but it is a growing phase that will surely pass. Make sure that in your anger or displeasure towards the stubbornness, you do not ignore the positives.
Always appreciate the goodness that your teen has and every achievement of your teen’s that has made you proud.
Share your feelings with family and friends and make sure your teen knows how much happy and proud it makes you.
Tip: Showcase your teen’s different achievements or interests prominently. Put up any interesting art work they may have done or display a trophy your teen may have won.
