20 Tips To Teach Your Child Not To Be Scared

Most scared kids feel like their parents’ arms are the safest place. When parents hug their children, it provides them reassurance and the sense of security they crave. However, children need to learn to deal with their fears, be it the fear of scary monsters, the dark, or going to school, to develop their personality. While showering them with love, security, and affection, one should also focus on empowering their child to learn how to deal with their fears and, when needed, how to ask for help. This skill will benefit them throughout their lifetime. Read this post as we explain some common factors that trigger fear in children and offer some tips on how to help your child overcome these fears.

What Causes A Child To Be Scared?

Children are scared of many things, including the dark, new places, heights, and school. But why do they fear these? Why are some children more scared than others or fear the same thing far more than their peers? Here are some common causes of childhood fears (1) (2):

Genetic or family factors: Genetic or family factors can make a child more susceptible to fears and make them react more severely to specific fears. A child might get anxiety attacks if one or both parents had a history of anxiety attacks. The child might also have picked up fear by watching the parents’ anxious behavior.

Biological factors: Neurotransmitters, the chemicals that transmit messages to and from the brain, control how anxious or fearful a person feels. If the child’s serotonin and dopamine levels (two important neurotransmitters) are off the normal range, they could experience excessive fear or anxiety.

Experiences and circumstances: The situation or environment the child finds themselves in can also affect how anxious or scared they feel. For example, if the parents have been fighting a lot or a loved one has recently passed away, these circumstances could spark fear and anxiety in a child. At times, a major event, such as relocation to a new place or admission to a new school, could also scare children.

What Scares Children?

As children grow, you will often find that their fears also change (1). For example, newborns cry out in fear when they hear loud noises, six-month-olds may howl with fear when a stranger approaches, one-year-olds may feel separation anxiety and seem terrified when a parent leaves for work, and pre-schoolers may balk at the idea of starting school and leaving their parents behind at home (3). Even older children and adolescents have their fears. The most common fears in young children include

Dark places or darkness Monsters Strangers Big animals (or even dogs) Heights

Separation from parents or other beloved family members Thunderstorms or lightning Kidnapping, getting lost, burglary (older children may fear these)

Your child’s fears may indicate what they have been exposed to recently. If there has been news of a massive fire, they may fear fire, or if a kidnapping has been making headlines lately, they could fear that. Usually, these common fears subside as the child grows and realizes that they are unfounded. If they become persistent and intense and affect the child’s quality of life, consult a doctor or therapist.